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Chrissie didn't seem to worry and neither did I; I was slowly getting back my Chrissie. She did relapse at times and in one of those dark moments, she told me I should divorce her and marry a woman who could give me a child. I would have exploded but controlling my emotions was part and parcel of my career. "Yes, Chrissie, I could do that, and yes I could probably father a child, but what will I have lost? I would have lost you, and any woman I married after you will be second best. Would a child compensate for that? I think not. We didn't marry in order to become parents. We married because we wanted a life together. It was Chrissie and Clem who wanted to be lovers, friends, and companions throughout our lives. For me that wish hasn't changed. So, we cannot have children. That doesn't change my hope that you and I will be together, love together, laugh together, and go places together. We should look upon the opportunities; we can go to exotic places for holidays, places where we. I was bright enough to know better than to ask what was inthe packages, and after running deliveries for a few months my contactin the 'Firm,' gave me the nod that they classed me as 'trustworthy,'which was the first step on the criminal ladder. I guess for a 'wannabegangster' like me getting 'nod' from the 'Firm' was an ego boost, eventhough in truth I was little more than an expendable mule in a guns ordrug deal.Although I did more than most, all of us in my 'crew' did a legwork forthe firm...On a purely practical level it gave my 'crew' some genuine'gangster' cachet, which meant we were left alone by the other 'crews'on the estate. That said however, the main reason why we worked for the'Firm' was it paid our 'pot' bills, and kept us sweet with the kind ofpeople you really do not want to upset!Anyway, the day I met Miss Alice started out like every other Thursday.Every second Thursday was 'dole' day and I had to be up before lunch togo into town and sign on. After cashing my money.
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